Universal Laws
Universal
Laws:
Law
of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become
coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to
pee.
Law
of Gravity
- Any tool, nut, bolt,
screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible
corner.
Law
of Probability
-The probability of
being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your
act.
Law
of Random Numbers - If you dial a
wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always
answers.
Law
of the Alibi
- If you tell the boss
you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the very next morning you
will have a flat tyre.
Variation
Law
- If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the
one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every
time).
Law
of the Bath - When the body is
fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law
of Close Encounters
-The probability of
meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you
don't want to be seen with.
Law
of the Result
- When you try to prove
to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
Law
of Biomechanics - The severity of the
itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Law
of the Theatre - At any event, the
people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive
last.
The
Starbucks Law - As soon as you sit
down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will
last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy's
Law of Lockers - If there are only two
people in a locker room, they will have adjacent
lockers.
Law
of Physical Surfaces
- The chances of an
open-faced Vegemite sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are
directly correlated to the newness and cost of the
carpet/rug.
Law
of Logical Argument
-
Anything is possible if
you don't know what you are talking about.
Brown's
Law of Physical Appearance
- If the clothes fit,
they're ugly.
Wilson's
Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
- As soon as you find a
product that you really like, they will stop making it.
Doctors'
Law
- If you don't feel well,
make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel
better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay
sick...
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